Follow The Yellow Brick Road…

Another day in paradise.  Work was ripe with the “special” ones today.   One was a young lady, probably about 23 years old.  Her green Firebird sat in one of our bays for a couple days.  Today, she comes to pick it up and we’re having trouble getting it to shift out of Park.  While my co-worker is out in the shop trying to get the shift lock to release, i’m up front collecting my belongings to go home.  She walks up to the desk and begins to ask me questions.

Her: “So, how much is my bill?”

Me: “I have no idea.” Since she was staring at me expectantly I said I’d check.

Me: “$241.87.”

Her: “Really…uh ok.”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

She thought for a second and leaned in.  Her empty, red eyes glistened in the light.

Her: “Do you think they’d let me pay $200 tonight and $40 tomorrow?”

Me: “What?!? And take the car?”

Her: “Well, yeah.  My purse got stolen and I don’t have access to a bank until Monday.”

Me: “Well, you have to pay the ticket in full to get the car back.”

Her: “Really?  I see.  Well…i’ll just go ask my roommates if they’ll give me the money.”

Me: “Alright, just let me know”

She walked away and I grabbed my purse and walked into the shop to go home.  She got into a van parked in front of the shop and a few minutes later emerged looking a little more baked than before.  She walked up tot the shop and explained that she would just have to pick up the car tommorrow. 

Surprise, surprise. 

I knew when she asked for a payment plan she wasn’t going to take the car home.  It’s like calling your landlord and asking if you can pay $700 today and $400 next week.  My landlord would laugh in my face.  I’m laughing just thinking about it.

She left with her friends (and without her car).  Pity…we were really hoping to get it out of our hair.

Even before her, this other girl came in.  She looked like she was about 19, I’d guess she  danced for a living, and her cheek was pierced.  She was all upset and fidgeting with her hair.  I asked her what was wrong (ignoring my own pain) and she proceeded to explain to me that her car wouldn’t turn on.  I asked her her if it was getting power to the dome light when she opened up her door, and she said she wasn’t getting anything. 

I asked her if anything new had been going on before this happened.  She tells me that this started happening after she got the last two monitors installed.  The last two…I echoed. 

Her: “Yeah.  I just got two more monitors installed; in the visors.”

Me: “How many monitors do you have in the vehicle?”

Her: “Three others.  Five total.”

Thinking she had an suv I racked my brain trying to find the most likely reason.  Then she tells me it’s a Lexus coupe, but she insists that the video equipment couldn’t be the problem. 

So, I asked her if she had upgraded her alternator.  She told me she didn’t know anything about cars, so I took the opportunity to enlighten her.  This is what I told her (I in no way consider myself an electrical genious.):

“You vehicle and all of it’s parts were built to meet certain specifications.  You alternator was designed to provide enough electricity to run the vehicle and all of it’s devices with enough energy remaining to keep the battery charged.  As you add to the demand of energy, your alternator continues to put out a steady stram of power.  Eventually, your car begins to draw power from the battery because the alternator can’t produce enough power to run the entertainment system.  This kills the battery.  Then, nothing in the car gets power.”

This girl was looking at me like I’m the idiot who put five TVs in a four person car.  Then she asks if we can find out for her.

Me: “We’re a little backed up today.  If you can leave it for a a little while we can find out for you.  But if it has anything to do with the audio/video equipment, we’re not going to go any further at this shop.  Whoever installed these for you should have told you that you have to upgrade the electrical system when you put in mutiple electrical devices that require large amounts of power.”

Her: “So there’s nothing you can do with it?”

Me: “Like I said, I can get the test done on it, but if it’s the video equipment draining the battery we’re not going to do any further work on it.  You’d do much better to take it back to the place that did the install and let them find your power drain because they’ll know what you need to do to upgrade you electrical sysem.”

Her: “Well, if you can’t do the work then what’s the point?”

Me: “Exactally.”

Her: “Well, thanks.”

This girl has spent thousands of dollars installing monitors and speakers and who knows what else into her car.  She knows nothing about what she’s doing to her car as far as cause and effect.  Now, she can’t watch those tv’s because the car won’t start.  Her friend gave her a jump to get out of the parking lot, but she’ll kill her battery.  Hopefully, she’ll take the lessons she’s learned and apply them to her life.  If not, she may have to park the car until she sees the wizard.  HAHA

When We Skip Maintenance, We Go Straight To Repair.

Although tainted by pain, I went to work to face the public and thier broken cars.  A gentleman came in today with a 2004 Ford Escort.  He told me it was his wife’s car and it needed an oil change.  I began to write up his work order while he explained to me that he borrowed his wife’s car and checked the oil because it was running a little weird and there was sludge on the dipstick.  She could not recall her last oil change and he had only known of her changing the oil once or twice.

He asked if he should flush it out and I told him that I would if I were him.  So that’s what we did and man, I’ve never seen such nasty oil before.  It didn’t cause any damage to the vehicle that we could tell, but it affects how the oil coats the engine parts. 

There no reason that a person should be able to own a two ton death machine without taking responsibilty for the maintenance on sed machine.  Not keeping up with the regular maintenance can cause mechanical failure (which only happens at an inconvenient time).  I’ve got a good example.

A few weeks ago I had a customer come in with a non working vehicle.  The engine would turn over, but it would not start.   I asked the guy what happened before the car died.  He told me that he had been driving down the street when the engine started losing power.  Then there was this noise that started happening, like a knocking.  He down-shifted and got a little power but it quickly lose everything.  First the knocking stopped, then the engine died.  It wouldn’t start again.

Luckily he was close enough to the shop to get it pushed into the parking lot.

Classic, I thought, broken timing belt.

I told him of my suspicions, but I suggested a diagnostic to be sure.  He agreed and we began work on his vehicle.  If I remember correctly, he had a 1995 Honda Civic with a VTech engine.  After the diag confirmed that the timing belt had shredded, I called the customer to let him know that we discovered the source of his problem.  He asked about the knocking noise and I explained to him that it was the timing belt shredding inside of it’s housing.  However I also had to tell him that this particular engine is known for bending valves from broken timing belts.

Most engines built in the last decade and a half have inferference engines in them.  Basically, what this means to the consumer is that when the timing belt breaks the valves are no longer able to seat properly (in most cases) and one will be hanging into the combustion chamber.  The crankshaft, however, still has momentum and the pistons may make a few strokes before they eventually stop.  If one valve is hanging down and one piston is coming up, the piston will win and the valve will be broken.  THIS IS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE!!  I broke a timing belt in a ‘99 Galant and I was lucky enough to not bend a valve (lucky cause it wasn’t my car!).  The bent valve means a valve job is in the near future, and a valve job means a lot of money.

Back to my story, I informed my customer that the VTech engine is known for it’s tight tolerances and bent valves are common with a broken timing belt.  I told him we could open up the engine (technical term) and check for bent valves, I told him the possible worst case scenerio and the cost of the worst case, and he allowed us to investigate further to determine if any damage occurred.  We looked into it, and lucky for him no internal damge could be found.  He still walked away with a $500+ bill. 

Now, this problem could have been avoided with a little maintenance.  A timing belt has a 60,000 mile life span.  Every mile over that is God-given.  This vehicle had over one hundred twenty thousand miles on it.  It should have been on it’s third timing belt.  But he never thought to change it because it never “acted up”.  That’s whay it’s called Preventative Maintenance.  You don’t wait until it’s broken to fix it.  I understand that it is expensive to replace a timing belt.  I realize that changing the transmission filter and gasket can be time consuming and a pain in the pocket, but it’s worth the two hours you’ll be without a car if you never have to pay for a new transmission. 

Really though, I shouldn’t be divulging the secrets of the auto world.  If it weren’t for ignorant (YES!! I said it.  IG-NOR-ANT!) people, mechanics everywhere would starve.  90% of vehicle problems (that I’ve seen) are a direct result of the owner’s falure to keep up on maintenance. 

I don’t understand why people will shell out thousands of dollars for a car but won’t take care of the car they finance.  But as long as people don’t care until it’s broken, there’ll be food on my plate and words in my blog.  haha

Creepy.. (It’s Not Just For Halloween Anymore)

Some times when I’m working, I run across people who reall creep me out.  Like this guy who came in and asked me if we adjusted the headlights when we put them in.  I told him that we did.  After he agreed to get his lights done I asked him if he was replacing one light or multiplelights.  He tells me he wants his lo and hi beams replaced.  I asked him how important it was to him to have the lo beams match the hi beams.  Some people want just the “normal” hi beam with the bluish lo beam or whatever.  So he says: “How would you feel if your breasts were uneven? I like my pairs perfectly matched…like yours.”   CREEP!!!!!

Later, this guy calls, and while giving my phone spiel I say my name…

Me: “Blah, Blah, Blah, this is Shelly speaking, how may I help you?”

Caller (In creepy, raspy, stalker voice): “Hey Shelly, how are you doing today? Hmm?”

Me (Thinking it was one of the employees who was off): “I’m good.  What can I do for you today?”

Caller: “Well, Shelly, I have a bad problem with my car, it’s really bad,.  And I need you to be a good girl and fix it for me.  Can you do that?  Can you be a goooood girrrrllll, SSSHHEllyyyy?”

Me: “UHHH!!!  Hold on!”

I put this guy on hold and shuddered.  WHAT A FREAKIN’ CREEP!  I asked my co-worker to take the call cause I refused to talk to this guy.  He made my ear feel dirty; slimey even.  Then, they proceeded to have a ten minute conversation about whatever.  This is by far the best method for making sure you get a man on the phone.  I wasn’t talking to him for more than thirty seconds before i passed off that call.

I have had to deal with a lot of men during my few years in the automotive industry.  Mouth is foul and my mind, gutter.  But for cryin’ out loud,  I don’t creep people out.  If you or someone you love is creepy, please know that there is help available to you.  You no longer have to frighten those around you.  Women will no longer run from you in horror.  Visit your nearest therapist, they will help you overcome you lack of social grace.  Thank you, and good night.

The Kettle May Be Black, But The Pot Is Stupid.

Today was a great day at work.  For the most part the day went smoothly with no insanity from the customers.  So, at the end of the day, maybe an hour before I left, I answered a phone call.  

Man: “Hello.  I was wondering if I could bring my car in for a fuel filter tonight.”

Me: “Well Sir, I have a mechanic in tonight.  It’s a good idea if you get here befor six so he’ll have enough time to complete the work.”

Man: “Is there any way that I can talk to a mechanic about my problem?”

Me: “We service writers are liaisons between the customer and the mechanic, and we all have mechanical experience here.”

Man: “Even you, huh?”

Me: “Yes.  Even Me.  So what’s going on with the car?”

Man: “When I put the car into reverse it’s fine.”

Me: “OK.”

Man: “When I put the car into neutral it’s fine.”

Me: “Alright.”

Man: “But when I put it into first gear, it wants to cut off and it hesitates.  It’s probably not getting enough fuel, and it’s been a while since I replaced it.  I’m pretty sure it’s on the frame.”

Me: “So, the vehicle only does this when shifted into first?”

Man: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, your fuel filter does no react to the transmission under any circumstance.  The transmission is the only variable when you’re experiencing this problem.  Your problem is located in your transmission.”

Man: ” I see.”

Me: “We don’t handle transmission repairs here so you’ll have to take it to another shop.”

Man: “Well, thanks anyway.”

-click-

I must caution the general public against jumping to thier own conclusions about vehicle repair.  This is the reason many people aren’t satisfied with thier mechanics.  they’ll come in and say they want something, then, they’ll experience the same problem and scream about how the mechanic should have checked first.  It’s not our job to interpret the whims of the public.  If you tell a service writer you want something done to the car, many time’s they’ll just go ahead and do it.  They will put it on a work order and send it to the mechanic, who may not really care why something is being done.  Many people refuse a diagnostic, insisting that it’s thier car battery.  Then, when the car still doesn’t start, they’re mad that you didn’t tell them the starter was bad.  I’ve been on the other side of the desk…the “back seat mechanic”, suggesting outlandish reasons for common car issues…now, I know better.  I want to help the world know better.  DON’T BE A CARTARD! 

I would also like to caution you against adding fuel injector cleaner to your engine oil.  If you are at all unsure of where a liquid goes in your vehicle, please take it to someone who can help you.  As one of my regulars found out it makes your car “go all crazy with the guages going every way”.  I’ve seen this several times.  One gentleman put engine oil in his power steering fluid.  On person put diesel fuel in his gasoline engine.  I’m trying to rationalize the fact that these people do these things, then, they ask to speak to a man when they need to correct thier problems…because I must be more stupid than they are.  HAHAHA, I’ve never harmed my car. 

I would also like to share the latest interesting fact I learned today.  The school buses here have tinted windows.  I’m not sure why I’m surprised about it, but maybe because I never noticed it.  Shaaa, who knows..is this normal everywhere?

Well Sir, If It’s SOOO Easy…

Sunday morning is the time when I think about what I’m going to do for the two days I’m off after I go home.  My Sunday morning was broken up by a customer who took me there before I had the opportunity to overcome my “morning low blood sugar”. 

See, on Sunday I’m worn dow from the past five days, and I don’t feel normal until I eat.  I tend to be short tempered and skeptical until I have some type of protein.  Well, my co-worker was out picking up the food and this older gentleman came in looking somewhat frantic.

“Hello ma’am, I really need some help with my car.” he says.

“Well Sir, what can I do for you?” I ask.

Man: “I have a flat tire from a nail and I need it patched.”

Me: “I can get it done for you, but it’s going to be about two hours, we’re kinda backed up and I only have one tire person on Sunday.”

Man: “I can’t wait that long.  Look, this is a really simple thing, all you have to do is put a plug in it, and then put air in it.  Five minutes tops.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t put you ahead of these other people who have waited to get work done on thier cars.  They aren’t going to believe that your problem is more important than thiers.”

Man: “Well, this is ridiculous.  I just a have a little nail in my tire and you’re telling me I have to wait two hours before it comes into the shop.”

Me: “I have to be fair to everyone Sir.  There’s nothing I can do for youright now.”

Man: “Maybe you don’t understand how easy it is-”

Me: “SIR!  If it’s so easy to plug the tire, please, be my guest.  The tire repair kits are right around the corner and you are more than welcome to repair your own tire.  I’m sure you can get it done before we can get to it.  Otherwise, it’ll be two hours!”

I think he was startled by my firmness, and thank goodness too because then he left.  By then, the food had arrived, and I had a better outlook on the day.  Although the wait was still two hours, I kinda cared after that.

Her Spirit Was Upon US…

Today started out like any other day.  I went to work and began my shift, and basically the day went well…until she showed up.  It was an hour before I was scheduled to get off work and all was quiet in service.  The mechanics were finishing thier last jobs of the day and I was preparing to go on home.  Out of nowhere, I hear this horn honking…and honking…and honking.  I figured it was the guys in the shop having a good time or improperly wiring something until my co-worker comes in and asks me about “that lady behind bay two who have been honking for five minutes.”  I was shocked.  i knew anyone that bold was going to be a problem.

In she comes with an attitude, “Didn’t someone hear me honking out there?  I NEED some service!”

“What can I do for you?” I ask.

“Well, I need my car inspected for the DMV,” she replied.

Now, in Nevada a vehicle with a salvage title must have a safety inspection before it will be allowed to be registered.  This can be done at any licensed garage by a mechanic.

Back to this lady, I told her it would be about an hour before it was pulled into the shop and it would be the last vehicle the mechanic touched.  And boy was this vehicle a piece of work.

It was I think a 1991 Doge Spirit.  The paint was peeling, the interior was disgusting, and well, the car was a piece of junk.  Any mechanic will tell you it’s what’s under the hood that matters…there were cobwebs under the hood of this car.  I had my installer bring the vehicle in to get the vehicle info so all the mechanic had to do was recheck that and do the actual inspection.  While waiting for him, I went back to the cervice desk and here comes this lady all pissed off because now her car is just sitting in the shop with no one working on it.  So again i eexplained to her about the whole mechanic is finishing someone’s car and I told you there’d be a wait to get it done. 

Somewhat satified with that, she questioned the salvage title.  It was horrifying.  My co-worker, MGT, got sucked into the verbal melee and this is how it went.

Lady: “Why does the DMV require this inspection?”

Me: “Because, on a salvage titled car they have to make sure the vehicle is safe on the road as to protect the other drivers.”

Lady: “Well, here’s my title, it doesn’t say it’s salvaged.”

Me: “If the previous owner didn’t order a new title for it after it became salvage, you wouldn’t have a copy of the salvage title.”

(Nevada is a very leinient state when it comes to vehicle titling.  You do not have to change your title when you register here, mine is still from Tenn.  You don’t have to order a new title when you buy from private party.  You don’t have to order a salvage title.)

Lady: “But how would the DMV know it’s salvage if i don’t have that title?”

Me: “They keep all that information in their computer database, they know everything about that vehicle.”

Lady: “So, what’s gonna happen after the inspection?”

Me: “We’ll sign off on it, and you can get a SMOG check, then you can register it.”

Lady: “So, how does a car get this salvage title?”

MGT joins the conversation: “If the vehicle was in a wreck or for whatever reason totalled out by the insurance company it gets a salvage title.  It can get one if it hasn’t been registered in a few years.”

I slipped away to check on the progress of her car.  That’s when the mechanic showed me the airbag.  Deployed, folded, taped back into the column with brown packing tape.  it was great.  A travesty of safty.  A mockery of all life preserving devices.  They finished up the inspection while I was out there, and I brought the paperwork back out to the service desk.

 Me: “Ma’am, your vehicle has failed the safty inspection.

Lady: “Why?”

Me: “Because your airbag is taped up.”

Lady: “That’s ok.  I wear my seatbelt, I don’t need the airbag.”

Me: “Even if you don’t want it, it’s still part of the inspection and it failed.  You will have to get it repaired if you plan to register this vehicle.”

MGT: “Anything that came standard on the vehicle as safety equipment has to be present and functioning.”

Lady: “Well, that’s stupid.”

Me: “It may be stupid, but that’s the word od the DMV.  They are the one’s who are going to deny the resgistration at this point.”

Lady: ” So I have to pay to get the airbag fixed?”

MGT: “Yes.”

Lady: “How much do you guys charge to do that?”

Me: “Oh, we won’t touch that.  You don’t want just anyone hooking up your airbag.  It’s best if you take that back to the dealer.  They have all the equipment and experience for airbags.”

Lady: “Well, can I go to any dealership?”

MGT: “No.”

Lady: “Well, where am I supposed to go?”

Me: “Back to Dodge.”

Lady: “Well, that’s stupid.  It’s just an airbag, it’s not THAT important.”

MGT: “The DMV thinks so.”

This went on and on.  Like a nightmare.  By this time it was about to go and my other co-worker showed back up from lunch.  I invoiced this lady out and too her money at the register, all the while listening to her bitch about the title thing and the airbag and the DMV.

I wandered off and i guess she continued asking about the title because when i came back she was on the phone and begging someone to explain to her son why the vehicle had a salvage title. 

I was amazed this woman could not put two and two together.  “THE CAR WAS IN AN ACCIDENT!!!  That’s why it is a salvage title”, I said, upset that she hadn’t left.

Lady: “But, do you think the previous owner knew this?”

Me: “The Previous owner is probably the one who was in the accident.”

Lady: “You’d think he would have told me.”

Me: “You’d think.”

Lady: “Do you think the DMV will give me a moving permit?”

MGT: “They may, you’d have to ask them.”

Lady: “I already have one, but it expires soon and since you guys failed my car, I can’t register it like I planned.”

Me: “You vehicle failed by not having the safety equipment.  If you call the DMV, they can tell you about moving permits.”

Lady: “Maybe I can get them indefinitly.”

MGT: “No, they don’t just keep giving them to you.  They expect you to use the time to fix the car.”

Lady: “Well, I’m pretty sure they’ll give me another one.”

I left around this point.  She drove me crazy.  She had no common sense.  I thought about what it’d be like to have to deal with customers like her every day.  Then i just thought about having to deal with her everyay.  I’m so glad this woman is not my mother. 

I had hoped the story would end here, but to my surprise I saw her the next morning.  She came in and told the service manager we had taken a key from her keyring.  He asked me about it and I told him that she gave me one key without a keyring. 

Lady: “Well, the key is missing.  You think some of your mechanics could help me look for it?  I may have dropped it in the parking lot.

SM: “NO.”

She walked out back by the shop doors and scoured the parking lot for a while before vanishing.  And no one was more happy about her departure than me,