What the insurance company doesn’t know.

Today was a quiet day.  Everything was running smoothly and nothing out of the ordinary happened until a gentleman asked if i could do an insurance inspection on his vehicle.  This is a normal service that we provide, so I grabbed the paperwork, a clipboard, and a pen and we walked out to his car. 

After gathering his personal information, I asked to see his insurance and registration and then I proceeded to inspect the vehicle.  At this point, everything was normal, a few dents and dings in the late 90’s model infinity.  I noticed the Army Veteran tags on his car and he told me that he had recently gotten out and was glad to be back, but after a minute of talking I decided to get back to work.

Finally, I asked him to unlock the driver side door, and Iopened the door and sat inside.  While I was looking at his odometer, I noticed a strange smell.  Something vaguely familiar.  I looked at the stereo to see if it had been modified, and low and behold, right under the faceplate, in a storage space was a bag of pot and a pipe. 

A pot-head, with drugs in the vehicle, came to me to ask for an insurance inspection, i thought.

I quickly scanned the form to see if there was a section for drugs, or DWI, or something similar but apparently they don’t care if you’re wasted, as long as they know what dings your car has. 

After a few minutes inside, I felt a bit calmer and I exited the aromatic car to check the tires and lights.  Everything checked out ok except for some blemishes and we walked back inside to finish up.

When we came in he took off his sunglasses, and I could tell he was baked.  He probably thought it was funny that I didn’t say anything about the reefer smell inside his car. 

It makes me wonder how many high-ass people there are on the road at any given time of day, because it was early afternoon.  People just can’t be happy doing drugs at home.  That’s why most of the states will never pass laws legalizing marijuana, irresponsible people smokin’ out on our streets. 

All in all, that was the most interesting thing that happened all day long.  I sure hope that that guy comes to terms with his irresponsibility and learns to leave la pipa in his house.  And I hope you people never run into him on the street…I mean, I hope he doesn’t run into you.

We’re selling hose now!

During a quiet morning at work recently, we noticed that someone had set up shop outside of our shop.  A black man pulled up in a red early 90’s model Caddy, and lifted the hood and for a minute he looked like he was trying to figure something out. 

He closed the hood and came into the store to “purchase something”, but left without anything.  I helped a customer that came in and then I was on my way outside to have a smoke, and I realized there was a much more sinister reason for his visit to our location.

I watched him as he shut his hood and noticed a female in the car.  he talked to her for a minute, and then she got out of the car and walked over to the sidewalk.  Then, I really understood what was REALLY going on.

See, I am an avid COPS viewer, and i’ve seen the ho-stroll a million times.  She had it down to an art.  The tacky shirt, skin-tight jeans, and hoochie-heels all made sense now.

Anywho, the man was now in the vehicle watching her in his rear view mirror.  For about twenty minutes she sachayed up and down the sidewalk waving at cars.  Every few minutes he would get out the car and yell something at her, and she’d roll her eyes and keep in wagging her tail at the cars…until he realized that about 8 of us were now staring out the window directly in front of his car while pointing and giggling. 

At this point, he must have known that we were talking about him.  So he called ‘ole girl on the cell and she ran back to the car and they peeled out.

So, we speculated on why this occurance happened…this is the story we came up with.

Big Boy needed to stop by and pick up some parts for his car.  Luckily, he remembered to bring Candy with him.  When he found out that the parts were going to cost more than the cash he had on him, he decided that candy needed to help him out and make him some money so they could ride without worry.

“Look, Candy, I need these parts, and you know I just paid for these rims, so can you halp me out?” he asked.

“No,” Candy replied, “you said I wasn’t gonna have to do that anymore!”

“You mean to tell me that you can’t just do this little thing for me?”

“But, Big Boy!”

“Naw, man!  You always wantin’ me to take yo ass somewhere, but you don’t ever want to contribute,” he said.

“Why you can’t just get a job?” Candy retorted.

“My job is taking care of you, but if you don’t help make this money, I can’t make that happen,” Big Boy said, getting more agitated.

“But I thought, we were going to be together and do this the right way.”

“Well, look, if you ain’t gonna help, you need to get out and walk home.”

“All right, but only this time.”

“That right girl, you know I love you and i only want to take care of you.”

After Candy got out and was on the stroll, Big Boy noticed a gang of onlookers and got a little worried.

**RING**

“Hello?”

“Dammit girl!  Look at all the attention your whiney ass has drawn. Get back in here, i’m taking you back down the the track where you look like the rest of the hos.”

“But you said-”

“In the car, NOW!”

**CLICK**

After that, I can’t speculate, I only hope that he got his car fixed at his own expense. 

This leave me only one more thing to say-

DON’T PICK UP HOSE OUTSIDE OF THE AUTO STORE, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT KIND OF QUALITY OR WARRANTY YOU’LL GET!

The Price We Refuse To Pay

So, the other day i was a work and we were talking about the little old ladies who scoof at car repair prices, but shove money into the hungry mouth of a slot machine.  Well, lo and behold this guy comes in to discuss the problem his car is having.  Now me, P-nut (advisor), Max (advisor), and PJ (Diag Tech) are talking to this guy trying to figure out what might be the cause of his car issue.  Finally, the customer asks how much it will cost to have the vehicle diagnosed.

PJ: Well, it’s $80, right Max?

Max: Sure is.

Customer: $80?!?  Well hell, for all that i can fix the damn thing myself!

he stomped back to the parts counter an it was on.  after throwing around a few comments about how cheap people can be and how this guy was a prime example.  so i offered up a little scenario in my head that i think perfectly fits people who dont know where to put thier money.

Doctor: well, it looks like you’re going to need a new heart Jimbo.

Jimbo: a new heart Doc?  well, how much is that gonna cost me?

Doctor:the surgery alone is more than $80,000.

Jimbo:Eighty-Thousand dollars?!?!  for all that i can rip out the dog’s heart and have my wife put it in before dinner.  i can’t believe you’re such a rip-off.

These are the types of people we see every day.  now, i’ll admit that i can’t afford to get everything done to my car that i need done, but if it needs to be done you have to find a way to do it.  an you might try not complaining to your service advisor about the price cause trust me, there’s not much we can do for you in that realm.  instead i offer you this.

many people come in and say things like, “$37 to install a wheel stud?  it takes two minutes to put in!”, or “$12.99 for a flat repair?  i could fix that in a minute!”

SPARE US YOUR CHEAPITUDE, PEOPLE!!!!

Get off your plastic covered sofas and do your own auto repairs.  If the price is too high, move on and do your own work, then complain to yourself about the poor job you performed.

i guess my final point is that you shouldn’t overreact to the price you’re being charged to repair your car.  you should be a little skeptical and you should review your estimate, final bill and look at any parts removed from your vehicle.  and a little secret that most people don’t know is that if you keep us with ALL of your regularly scheduled maintenance, you should be able to catch most problems before they turn into major repairs.  however, be smarter that your car, people!  sometimes, things on cars break.  maybe it’s because you drive like a fool, or maybe because of damage from something else, but i’d like to also reveal a secret of the automootive world.

PLANNED OBSOLESENCE!

Car manufacturers know that thier vehicles are going to break down at some point.  they know that on the 745R transmission the governer is going to go out.  they know that on the dual/tri zone ac systems the rear system is gonna go out…probably within 3-5 years…you HAVE to buy a lot of these parts from the dealer.  that how things work.  they want to keep making money off of you until you decide to purchase a new car that will eventually break.

so, stop complaining to the people who work to fix your car. complain to the slimball who sold you your POS, or write a letter to your senator…or even better, boycott the automotive industry until they make cars that hold up to real life.  but since i know most people are way too lazy to walk any further than thier driveway, just shut your mouth, get out your wallet and cough up the dough. 

hahaha

Scheduled Maintenance…

Today was a quiet day at work.  At some point in the day, a gentleman in a late modle Caddy CTS came in to get a brake job and an oil change.  Well, we got backed up for a while at work, so we were finishing up the oil change when he came back. 

I took him out to the shop with me because it appeared that someone had tried to remove his drain plug with pliers.  On this vehicle, you use a star shaped bit inserted into the drain plug to remove it, so pliers won’t help remove this thing in any fashion.  Well, I wanted him to know that this damage had occured becase people should be informed. 

While we we examining his drain plug, the mechanic remarked that this guy must not change his oil that often.  This guy was shocked and denyed going past 3000 miles before changing his oil, but his oil was extremely dirty for only having 2500 miles on it.  Plus he ran synthetic oil so there was no reason for his oil to be that contaminated.  So I asked him when was the last time he checked his air filter.

“Uh, my 30,000 mile service,” he insisted.

“So, that was recent then?” I inquired.

“Well, it was about thirty-thousand miles ago,” he replied, “How often should it be changed?”

“I change mine every oil change.”

He looked horrified.  Like he had done his car a great disservice.  Here he is with a four year old car that’s only had 2 air filters.  When the tech took the old filter out I brought it to the waiting room to show this man why you have to change your air filter. 

“Is that my old filter?  That’s nasty!” he exclaimed at the dirty, leaf encrusted, black-as-asphalt air filter.

“That might explain why your old oil looks like primordial goo.”

Learning this (in my mind) benign fact has helped this guy see how one thing in you vehicle can negtively affect other things.  And he’ll be mindful of his filter from now on.  Good for him.

A Girl’s Journey Into Man Land…

I am a service writer for a well-known national company.  Everyday I am confronted with issues at work, much like everyone else in the world.  One of the most irritating problems i have at work is my lack of “Man Parts”.  Now, I know that my uterus and boobs do not preclude me from doing my job, but some of my customers see things a different way. 

Today, a gentleman called about some wheel bearings for a ‘89 Ford E-Series Van.  It was bad enough that he barely had any vehicle information, but I persevered and gathered all the info i could to help him.  He wanted his front wheel bearings packed.  This is a normal service that is usually performed at the time of brake service. This being said, you have to remove the wheel, caliper, and the rotor (and sometimes a few other misc. parts) in order to get to these bearings.  Since all of this has to be done in order to service the brake system, the bearings are usually done now to save extra labor cost.  Basically, it’s like paying for a whole brake job, without ever doing the brakes.  Well, this customer was floored when I quoted him the hefty pie of $133.99. 

“I could get the whole damned brakes done for that price!”  he ranted, “you mut not know what you’re looking for, see, I just ant the bearings packed.”

So, I assured him that I knew quite well what I was looking at, and then I explained to him about the whole taking the wheels and various other parts off the vehicle, but he was adamant.

“You know, any mechanic that almost knew what he was doing could get that done in less than half an hour!”

“Well sir, I have repacked wheel bearings before and although it probably wouldn’t take a long time to do, Mitchell calls fo 1.8 hours.”

“Well, that’s a load of crap!  I could do this myself for a fraction of that cost.  There’s just something wrong with that price, is one of the guys there?  They know what i’m talking about.”

“No, Sir.  The guys are all working right now.”

“Well, you’re a rip-off!  i’m going somewhere else!”

*click*

I hope he got his bearings packed…

Although I try not to let it bother me, I feel like I get less respect than my male counterparts.  I went to school to be a mechanic,  I choose to work in service.  I don’t proclaim to know everything, but I’ve been in the automotive worls for five years, so I do know something.  But not as much as this gentleman (using the term VERY loosely) who came in today with his “Police Interceptor”.  Shaaaaa, WHATEVER!

He wanted an oil change.

“With Mobil One fully synthetic, it’s a “Police Interceptor” Crown Vic, so i’ll need the Ford oil filter also.”

“The MotorCraft filter, Sir?” I was just trying to verify his info you see, cause Ford makes MotorCraft.  He knew better than me though…

“No, I said the FORD filter.  It’s an “Interceptor”, and I try to take care of it.”

Ignoring his stupidity, I selected the MotorCraft filter, and told him what the final cost would be.  He signed his papers, and went off to where pricks go when their car is being serviced.  After all was said and done, the tech working on it told me he needed another quart of oil.  Although this vehicle specifications call for five quarts of oil, they tend to take a bit more. 

The dipstick read low.  So, I tell this guy about the oil, and he loses his freakin’ mind! 

“That care only takes five quarts, it’s always taken only five quarts.”

I told him that judging by the dipstick, he was like half a quart low.

“Well, I just want my five quarts.  I’d rather run it low that put too much oil in it and blow the head (WHATEVER!!). The “Police Interceptor” can’t be treated any kind of way.”

Yes, he’d rather run it low.  Because it’s sooo much better for the car to be run with not enough oil.  He was a bit upset by the time he left, all over a quart of oil.  A quart of oil.  What a freak!

Well, tomorrow is another day…a good day I hope.